Help us, Obi Wan Kenobi...you're our only hope

Join us, ye discontent masses! Ye citizens of this weary world, join us! Let the world know your discontent! Sock it to those imperialist pigs at the International Olympic Committee! Yes, sign this noble petition to convince the evil Emperor and his countless minions that we mean business! Yes, we want the 2014 Winter Olympics ot be held at Hoth! Hoth...you know, where Skywalker Jr. froze his b***s off, and they had that badass fight with the snowalkers and shit? Why Hoth, you ask? Well, because of the sheer magnificence, the chance to experience a previously unexplored galaxy not so far away, the opportunity to skin a wampa! And because it's so damn cool, and 'cause we can, that's why! Apart from the fact that it doesn't exist, it's a damn fine location!

Recently spotted on the back of a bus

“House rent no house Rent”
“House rent no house Rent”
“House rent no house Rent”
“House rent no house Rent”

Did you say “Husband no Husband”?

Being a real estate agent should not be this difficult.

Call the Dennis Wee Group!


I’m as confused as you are.

Crash

Arrghhh….they gave the best picture to Crash. I’ve watched the movie, ages back, and while I thought it was good, it wasn’t brilliant. I haven’t seen Good Night… or Brokeback Mountain, so I can’t comment on whether it deserves it more. But as a standalone movie, it is definitely not the best movie of the year.

Crash is one of those movies which plays the race card, makes people feel uneasy and guilty. And because you feel guilty, you think you must be wrong. And it must be a good movie. It is a good movie, no doubt, and there are some fine performances. It’s not brilliant. It tries too hard, and manipulates your emotions way too much to be an effective piece. I think the subject matter is relevant, but I wasn’t completely satisfied with Haggis ramming it down the viewers’ throats. Although Matt Dillon completely deserved an Oscar, to be honest. Crash has so many great moments, but so many predictably cringe inducing ones. And that’s what stops it from being great. Oh well. Blah choice.

Where were you while we were getting high?

Where were you while we screamed ourselves hoarse this night? Where were you when we heard Liam’s raspy, roguish voice sneer through the better part of and hour and forty five minutes? Where were you when I couldn’t help but scream, again and again, “Noel is a fucking Golden God!”?
Well fuck me mate, wherever you were, you missed an experience. They rasped, they sang, they sneered, and they made magic with the guitar and the microphone like only they can. Liam with his back bent, head raised to the microphone, hands clasped behind his back, caressing the microphone with his vocals, while Noel bent over his guitar unconcerned with the world, seemingly in a trance, hearing only the frenzied symphonies he was able to conjure up. Bloody brilliant, that was. I never expected Oasis to be as good entertainers as they were. They blew me, and the rest of the audience, away. They were completely mesmerizing, and very electric. I found myself pumping my fists like a madman, screaming my lungs out, wishing I could break the stupid barrier and run closer to the stage and tell them what I wanted to hear. I was so afraid they weren’t going to play “Don’t look back in anger”, and they did really march off the stage after a while announcing it was over. Not for the crowd, it wasn’t. We refused to move, and shouted and screamed. Finally they had to come out and play another four songs. And they did finally play “Don’t look…”! Every song they played, from Songbird and Cigarettes and Alcohol, to Wonderwall and Acquiesce and Lyla and Masterplan and Champagne Supernova and What’s the Story...seemed too good to be true. Hell yes. I want to go again.

Happy extra special birthday

To a woman whose age you can tell by how young her heart is, not by how grey her hair is. To someone who can just sing loudly and dance in the moonlight on our dew drenched lawn, regardless of how many inquisitive and disapproving chachis sit there. To someone who’s understood me more than all but one of my friends. To my first soulmate. To my first friend. To someone who gave me life, the second time by giving me a book, the third time by giving me a diary and a pen to write with. To someone whose dreams outstrip her imagination. To our trips to Janpath, Wenger’s, Khan Market and all over Delhi. To our books, to our music. To someone who lives with a lot I couldn’t deal with. To someone who’s borne it, come out through everything that’s been thrown by life. To someone who’s more than a wife or a daughter or a mother or a sister or a friend. To her heart being so young. To pyramids to see and mountains to walk on and Venetian canals to glide through. To someone who could let go. To someone whose cakes are legendary and whose smiles even more so. To someone to whom smiles and a big heart matter more than jewelry and sycophantic smiles. To whom my friends are her friends. To someone whose life is just beginning.

Happy birthday, ma.

Gong Xi Fa Cai

We brought in the year of the dog by celebrating- painting the town yellow. Yes, we saw Rang de Basanti. The theatre was jam packed; I didn’t even know there were so many Indians in S’pore.
My review:
Highly original, highly well thought out, well shot, well acted- the movie was great. One of the truly most satisfying films in a long time. The story was good, I loved the constant imposition of the historical characters and the social message. The screenplay was a bit weak, towards the end especially, but that didn’t matter. The acting was good and I was really happy to see that Aamir Khan wasn’t the main hero this time. Besides Soha Khan, I liked everyone’s acting. The music is mindblowing, Rahman at his best. And though I appreciate the message of the movie, I don’t agree personally with the way they go about doing what they do. It sets off a bad precedent. However, what I like is that atleast it jolts you awake and causes you to question and debate. Good stuff.

Yesterday, I was invited to lunch over at Steven Ney’s house. I’m TAing for him this semester. He’s a real cool guy, very knowledgeable and witty and fun. I went over to his place, and his wife, who is Austrian, had made some really nice dumplings with melted butter and parmesan cheese…very filling and very very tasty. We ate and chatted and had beer and listened to Led Zeppelin and laughed at the antics of his really adorable two kids. Then the bloody Social Science clique turned up and bored us silly. We were having such a good time too. His family is really nice and friendly, and I was really touched at being made to feel so welcome by his wife. Good thing I took flowers with me; she was really happy. Somehow, the Social Sciences profs are so much more fun and easy to get along with than the economics ones. Can’t say the same about the Social Sciences students though- they were boring all of us to bits with their nonsensical chatter. Sods.

I have the Power!

I’m a kid. A big, stupidly overgrown kid. And I’m not ashamed of it. My prayers were answered yesterday. I got the DVD I’d been waiting for since years- He Man & the Masters of The Universe. Season One, Volume 1 to be precise. 33 glorious episodes of the power. For those who don’t know, He Man has always been my all time favorite cartoon. He Man was my ultimate hero, the one I spent countless hours watching cranky VHS tapes of. My first career choice- He Man. God I loved that show. I still do. I had the entire action figure collection, including Castle Greyskull, all of which is still packed away in my house somewhere. I was so disappointed when they stopped showing it on tv anymore, and angry when I saw that ludicrous movie starring Dolph something. He Man was so radically different from the angsty, real life heroes of today a la Batman- he was simple, all good, clear cut. The strongest man in the universe, with his own castle, a brilliantly catchy theme, and he kicked ass. This DVD…is…oh…pure bliss.

It is a work of art. The capture, the video quality is flawless. It looks as good as anything I’ve ever seen. The episodes are 11 hours long- and it’s only the first of four box sets! Joy! And the packaging is a loving embrace- beautifully embossed cover, episode stills and quotes on the inside, discs with character portraits, two collectible cards…and an extras disc containing character bios, making of and what not. My day is made.

Warning- most people won’t like this show, unless they’ve grown up with it, or have fond memories of it, or want complexity and depth. Not for you. However, if you can be a kid again, hell yeah. This is for you.

And he stays on

Mama can I go!
His shout is deafening
His excitement endearing
His naivety brings a smile to her eye
Oh mama, say I can
Please do!
Because there’s pirates out there
And men on the moon
Dragons in the sea
And fairies in the breeze
Kingdoms to be won
And lands to be discovered
And only a lifetime to do it mama!
But there are monsters that eat little children alive
And the ships might sink
And you can’t swim and
You don’t even have a sword
But mama I’m not scared
I got Billy the Bear
If they don’t like me
He’ll bite them up
Won’t you Billy?
Turning to the only one
Who understands who he is
She gathers him up into her arms
And holds him tight as she tells him all
About the witches who will eat him and
The dragons who will burn him alive and
The pirates who will skin him and
The world that would surely be no place for him
And he stays on

Can I go?
He shouts eagerly
To the sea by the shore
With the green waves where a ship does come
To ferry us away to the lands beyond
Come on Ma, let me make my fortune
With the spice and the incense and the gold encrusted
Jewel sold to the Arab and the Jew and the Chinaman
Alike, united in their desire to trade with me
The boy braving the seven seas
To bring them news of Sinbad and the mermaids
And of Odysseus home at last
I’ll see the pyramids and climb the Himalayas
And ride the bucking broncos coast to coast
And skin a llama and bring you its coat
So you can stay warm in chilly boats
When I take you with me next
Oh, say you’ll come?
The sea is treacherous and the world
Is darker than the heart
Of the deepest coal mine here, son
Stay with me, just a few more years
Wait till you’re the man to lift
The boulder and carry your sword
And wear your father’s sandals with pride
And he stays on

Mama, should I go?
He asks, not so sure
The university in the land
Of the you know where
Have called for me, this is the opportunity
Of a lifetime, or more
Far away in the strange lands
Where nothing is same and everything
Is unique, where the mind never meets the eye
And you can always fly by
On the motorcycles of your dreams
She beseeches him, reminds him
Of the terrible fates that befell the others
Murdered, betrayed, robbed or lost
Or worse still, married to a foreigner
An anomaly in a distant land
Isn’t it good enough here, do I not do everything I can?
It’s just as good here, and look
You’ve already gotten a post in our town
Why would you need to go anywhere else?
Stay here, just a few more years
Until you learn a little more
Of how this world can be
And he stays on

Son, look, a ship does sail!
This is good news, for now you can go
Sail away and sell this gold
This rug and all the rest
That we saved up for eons before
Now that the prospects here seem far and few
This is no place for a lad like you
And isn’t it what you’ve always wanted to do?
He looks up, eyes brim with tears
But mama, he slowly says
I'm scared so
Its dangerous out there, I don’t think I can go
And he stays on